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Welcome to the News Page, which has been updated December 2008. Let us know what you think; if you have any suggestions or ideas please send an E-mail or leave a message in the Forum or Guestbook - these links are below..

The flock were mezmerized by the chick on TV, even though she was in a spin for most of the time though. While the roster was hen-picked he was still luckily able to get a quick gander at the show.

The dinner time show was the chick family's weekly favourite that then never missed to tune in to; they thought the program was chicken licking good.

The turtle was recovering slowly from the experience of being scraped off the wall. The attept to stuff it back into the shell failed completely, it was a disaster.

The turtle was souped up from what had just happened was an unexpected shock. After shelling out for a new shell the turle planned to go on with life as normal, except for wearing the shell backwards, hoping to get a heads up in furture.

The excuse that the diet of bananas that had been sprayed with some new biological pesticide didn't go down very well. The cock was just greatful it wasn't Easter!

No other excuse being available the hen just had to wing it and blame the waste disposal plant near by. The only other idea of an angel had visited her didn't fly at all, angels just don't come with 4 legs and a trunk.

Due to a recent accident Pete's Pet Shop is holding a Fire Sale all this week, with pets at hugely discounted prices.

Pete was quoted as saying that not only are these pet easy to look after, you don't need to take them for a walk or even feed then. He did stress that they need regular dusting as they tend to gather dust quickly.

One word of waring from Pete is that you need to take care not to knock or bump into these pets as they are extremely brittle. He did also offer to spray paint them if the standard black colour was not to your liking.

A local farmer has had success in genetically engineering a huge rabbit using the same technology he incorporated into creating his locally famous huge cock. See story above.

He has started to ride the rabbit and found it a useful means of rounding up his cattle. He now prefers the rabbit to the horse as there is in his words; "more bounce to the ounce".

He now tells his wife that he is just going out for a quick jump whenever he plans to ride is rabbit.

Recently a man was found walking around out in the open with a huge cock clearly visible for all to see.

He was latter requested by local police to fit a flashing light to his cock at night time, as it was deemed a traffic hazard to motorists who may not notice it in the dark.

Local insurance agencies have offered a special policy to insure this man's enormous cock against damage or injury.

The man latter was quoted as saying that he would like to use his huge cock to feed the starving people of the world.

Harley Davidson have just launched their latest creation the 'Chick Bike' designed for chicks.

The designers developed this bike at the request of the company's managing director who told them; "guys you need to urgently design a bike for chicks".

The marketing staff commented that the bike was not only cheep but also eggonomic. They also explained that cc now stood for cherping chick.

Long queues of women have been forming all week outside the newly opened Pussy Massage Parlour.

The manager stated that you can also enjoy a cat-hargic experience in the relaxing company of the parlor's pussies.

You can instanty releave muscle pains with an aromotherapy massage administered by the parlor's pussy massagers; this is advertised as a purring experience.

A freak circus accident happened when a lion trainer had his head bitten off by his favourite lion with whome he had worked for over 12 years.

It was a simple case of biting off more than you can chew, both for the trainer and the lion, especially the lion as he simple spit out the head, which bounced a few times before coming to rest in the centre of the ring..

The ring master commented that Siegfried and Roy have nothing on my boy - what a dramatic finish to an act.

Shocked, the chef found the chicken hanging stubbornly onto the laddle when he tried to sample the chicken soup.

Completely divoid of feathers, in what could only be describe as a denuded state, the chicken just hung onto the laddle for dear life - well what remained of it.

The chef thought to name this a new menu 'Frigging Chicken Fricase de Pollo UnTradicional' - 'Chicken in the Nude' was another option but was abandond as the chef thought people would think he was quackers.

The chicken would be served with a stake through its heart on a bed on wild rice with screwer up its arse for good measure, with a side dish of dumplings and vegies.

A new 'learn to play the piano' couse has just started for computer nerds.

Instead of a musical score to follow they have instructions based upon familiar computer commands .

In this case the command is 'Press any key to continue'

Unfortunately the piano is not fitted with a delete key or a turn off the sound function key - bring your own ear plugs.

Due to the current world wide fossile fule crisis motorists are gradually changing from horse power to cow power.

The oil industry said that this new trend was a load of bull and that it was just a passing phase.

Cow power is thought to be the most economical form of transport, and while not so speedy, the weekly running cost was only a bail of hey and assorted grains and barley.

Having eyes in the back of your head was taken to new heights recently by a Giraff at the local zoo that has perfected the technique to see what was going on over 360 degrees.

Some one commented that it surely must be less painful to simply just turn your head to see what is behind you than go to these extremes.

The giraff had trouble in moving forward as for half the animal that was also backwards - the zoo keeper said the giraff didn't know whether it was coming or going.

The newly released movie 'Ninja Pussy' is currently becoming increasing popular and it is thought to break all box office takings soon.

These sword swinging pussies with matial arts ability and stealth abilities have been keeping cinema audiences on the edge of their seats with excitement and anticipation.

Seeing the pussies flying through the air with such agility and precision has left most audiences speechless.

To meet the demand for fried chicken legs and overcome shortages 'Chicken-2-Go' chain of fast food stores has come up with an original idea to solve this dilemma. They have perfected a procedure to remove the chicken legs at their farms while leaving the bird alive to continue to lay eggs.

The Association of working Chickens has been boycotting 'Chicken-2-Go' outlets and harassing anyone who patronizes this fast food chain's stores.

A spokes chicken said; 'quack', which was throught to mean disaproval of the policy of 'Chicken-2-Go'. The company said they couldn't understand the reaction of the chickens as they had provided crutches or wheel chairs so that the effected chickens could get-around easily.

A suicide victim was found today spread on the pavement of Main Street, he was clutching a plastic bag full of garbage.

It seems that when he threatened to jump his wife asked him that as he was going down to take the garbage with him.

A police spokes person stated that the suicide victim will be charged with littering the pavement. As for the garbage, it would have to wait for collect on Wednesday.

A flock of vultures had by chance come across a local clown who had collapsed in the desert near to the west of town.

After taking a few pecks at the clown the head vulture had concluded that the clown tasted funny

The medical examiner has submitted in his report that the clown must have gotten the last laugh. He said the corpse looked a bit peckish and had been nipped in the bud.

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